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Please please please let me tweet what I want

In my (extremely) occasional series on Preaching With Milliennials, I came across an article on ENS the other day. The writer speaks of going to a conference on the use of new technology to communicate in the business world, in which the conference leader undertook the Herculean task of explaining Twitter.

(I find this impressive. I recall once in seminary, when a colleague at the Church Center sat down at lunch and asked me to explain YouTube, and then, once I explained the concept, what one would do with such a thing. It’s a bit like explaining a screwdriver. It only works if you first have a concept of screws and their infinite uses.)

Anyway, the writer commented that this ‘following’ on Twitter, by which a user clicks a button, and signs up to read all the messages another user sends out, seems extremely shallow to her. By contrast, Jesus demands from us a more dedicated, engaged sense of following. The article is here, for your reading pleasure.

It’s not a bad article. Her point is well taken. Following Jesus should be more than skin deep, requires commitment, etc. Yes, good, fine, okay.

But it hits me sideways that she made that point by the Twitter-is-shallow-and-who-possibly-understands-it? route. The minute I found her on that particular road, I myself signaled for the nearest exit, and departed the caravan, however valid her eventual point.

Please, please, PLEASE do not bad-mouth technology. Just please don’t do it. I understand it can be off-putting, I understand it can be alienating, but you need to understand that for many of us, technology, and its rapid development has been a constant in our lives. Learning to use it is a constant curve.
Further, it makes about as much sense to me and most people I talk to, to disparage the Internet, or Twitter, in their entirety as it does to disparage wheels. Or levers. Or mechanized printing. (“Know what I can’t stand, Phineas? Damned interchangeable parts!” “Won’t someone think of the children!”) These things are tools, to be used in helpful or non-helpful ways. If you want to blame something, blame operator error.

For example: Twitter!
Some facts: Twitter users tend to be younger, less wealthy, and much more ethnically diverse (within the US). For over half of Twitter users surveyed, they access the service via cell phone.  And, globally, only 33% of Twitter account holders live in the US. (Twitter’s short-burst form of communication, since it is harder to pinpoint by government censors, has been credited with facilitating the Arab Spring uprisings in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Syria, Bahrain, etc.  During the Iranian Green Uprising in the spring of 2009, the US State Dept asked Twitter to delay server maintenance so that the protestors could continue to communicate.)  Turns out, there is actually a lot going on here that is far from shallow.

For my money, Jesus would be having a blast on Twitter. (Though, to be fair, @JesusOfNaz316 already is.) Jesus didn’t hole up in a cave, waiting for people to come to him. Jesus wandered around, from town to town, preaching, teaching, and healing, as did every other traveling famous rabbi of the day. He did what he had to to get his message out there: commented on current events, used rudimentary amplification, you name it. The method of transmission wasn’t a concern, because if the story you’re telling is that important, then you’ll do whatever you have to so people can listen.

 

Oh.  And I’m on Twitter.  Right here.

Tebowing the Bible

I don’t follow football, or any sport, really, with the occasional exception for college basketball or the Olympics.  (This, and a specific disregard for the Phillies and the Eagles makes my parents wonder if I was switched at birth.)

Tim Tebow, circa high school, I think
However, even I have heard of Tim Tebow.  Tim Tebow, who plays for the Denver Broncos, who played for Florida in college, and who makes a habit of mentioning his devout Christian faith repeatedly during every interview.
It’s not the football, so much that attracts my attention as it is the last bit.  It’s the conflation of Tebow’s faith and his football that has gotten people’s attention, so much so that “Tebow-ing’ is now a thing–a new word to describe his habit of dropping to one knee in a prayerful pose of gratitude when he scores a touchdown.  (Which is awesome, because we needed a neologism for genuflecting.  Thanks, guy!)
When he was in college, Tebow had a habit of inscribing Bible citations in his eye black–that stuff football players smear under their eyes.  John 3:16 was his favorite.
And this got me thinking.  John 3:16 is an insanely popular one-off verse to cite.  You want a Christian pop-culture slogan or a 2 second TV ad, a specialized handshake to assure the members of your crowd that you’re ‘one of them’ then dropping the 3:16 bomb is the way to go.
But is it the best one?
John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever should believe in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”  Bam.
Well, ok. That’s pretty good!  It’s short, it’s pithy, it’s to the point.  Strong language, no passive voice.  (Well, it’s translated from some pretty fancy Greek, which does use the aorist tense, but we’ll gloss that for now.)
But, because I like to deconstruct things (I have a ‘Team Derrida’ t-shirt, and if you got that joke, I’m going to buy you a commiserating cup of coffee.*) I have some questions.
Mainly, is John 3:16 the best verse?
Because, ok, God loved the world, that’s a good message right there.  But if I’m a newbie (and let’s assume I am, because this is who messages in eyeblack are aiming at, right?), then how am I to understand the rest of this verse?
  • I don’t know what ‘only-begotten’ means.
  • Does ‘everlasting life’ mean literal ‘you-never-die’, or something metaphorical?  (Because that actually does matter. And should be discussed/explained.)
  • And how do I believe in him?  (also, which him are we talking about?)
  • Do I believe in the historical reality of Jesus, or something more specific, and if the latter, then what, specifically?
  • And, the verse says nothing about what I should do, in the next moment.  Nothing about how I should treat the woman sitting at the desk beside mine, or the guy sitting on the sidewalk outside the door, or the kid wandering down the street, who stole my GPS last year.  None of that is addressed.
I’m just told to believe in a guy, and live forever.  I’m not told what to do about the people around me, the problems I have now, or anything else.  Hmmm.
So, is there another option for Primary Christian Slogan Verse?  Because this one seems confusing and incomplete.
Here are some options I came up with.  Now I’m just spitballing here, so bear with me.
1. Micah 6:8 “He has told you, O Mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you, but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
  • Good, pithy, strong verbs, etc.  Covers the ‘here’s what you do!’ aspect well.  But the question format might leave some doubt as to the fact that, in fact, God does want you to do the justice, kindness, humble-walking bit.
2. 1 John 4:21 “The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.”
  • In reality, I’d nominate all of ch.4 in 1 John, mainly because it goes on at length about God=love. (Seriously.  Read 1 John, whilst skipping over the bit about the antichrist.) But entire chapters of the Bible, especially of Johannine epistles, are not pithy.
3. The entirety of Romans 8
  • Again, brevity is a problem here.  But it’s just so good…..
Any other suggestions?
Or…. is it just possible that Christianity doesn’t fit easily into a slogan?  Is it possible that it’s something that requires a conversation, a relationship, an entire lifetime to explain even close to properly?
*At which, we can discuss why Derrida would probably not have a team, so much as a collection, a smorgasbord of people, a gathering, per se, because a team would still need to be interrogated further, their motives taken apart.  “Why are they there?  Who is on this team?  Who is not on this team?  What prevents them from being there, and why?”  
Possibly, the coffee should be switched to decaf.

Hail Mary, kick some butt.

So, admittedly, I stretched the lectionary a bit here. But in my opinion, right now we could all do with two weeks together of contemplating the Magnificat. For it is awesome. As a summary of the gospel, you cannot do much better than that.
(Also, there be pictures in this sermon!).
So here:

Rev. Megan L. Castellan
December 11, 2011
Advent 3
John 1, Magnificat

All religious figures eventually develop schizophrenia. It’s quite unfortunate, but it’s a common side effect of being venerated by humans for any length of time whatsoever. Jesus Christ becomes simultaneously the figure of meek and passively love for the world, and the avenging Judge of the World, Complete WITH flaming Sword action. God becomes the all-merciful, all-compassionate, all-loving source of Endless Creativity in the Universe, and also the Gigantic Wrathful Parental Figure in the Sky who is about to send you straight to hell without supper or $200. It’s rough.

And then there’s Mary. Ah, Mary, full of projections.

If you listen to most (western, old-school) depictions of Mary, she is pretty straight-forward. Mary is meek! Quiet! Passive! Excellent at taking directions! Her claim to fame is saying ‘yes’ when an angel appeared out of the literal blue and said, “Excellent news, unwed teenage girl! You are pregnant! Sound good?” (Reading between the lines, here, Mary is also none too bright.).

She is depicted in lovely (non-threatening, very flattering) shades of blue, and pink. And she’s always paler than me. Which, to put it in perspective, makes it look usually like she’s about to die tragically in the final stages of some medieval opera of consumption– not raise a healthy Galilean kid. Extra points if she’s got blonde hair, or hair paler than mine. Double points if her eyes are blue.

Turns out, I have some problems with this Mary.

Hyperdulia (great word! Look it up!) or the elevation of the mother of Christ above other saints is something I came late to. And it was because of this version of Mary. I couldn’t understand her. She wasn’t compelling. I’ve never been able to pull off meek and mild– how am i supposed to relate to her? Yet I sat in church, and saw popular piety instruct me that I really should be like her.

Then,bored, in college, as you do, I reread the Gospel of Luke. And realized that Mary in the story of the Annunciation, was almost unrecognizable to me. The Mary who emerged wasn’t the meek and assenting milquetoast of old sermons– she was that girl from the Tanner painting– she who stares at the column of light as if God is playing a really uncomfortable trick on her, and had best be explaining himself, because what the heck, YHWH?

behold, the painting!

Her response to the angel isn’t “Of course!” Her response is “how can this be?”. In other words, “check your facts, you angelic loon.”. She’s not blindly assenting, she questions the crap out of that guy. THEN and only Then, does she agree, but when she does, she doesn’t just say Yeah, ok. It’s a conditional assent– let it be to me according to your word. This is not an “anything goes, you’re the boss,” sort of assent. The deal has been explained satisfactorily, and Mary is agreeing to its terms. (How are you, first century agency?)
And THEN. Then, Mary launches into the most kick-ass, non-meek section of scripture that there freaking is. She goes to visit Elizabeth, and in greeting, sings the Magnificat.
And spoiler alert, in so doing, she pretty much sums up the entirety of the gospel message. What Jesus will get tossed out of the synagogue for saying in his first sermon, Mary lets loose with right here.

He has looked with favor on his lowly handmaid, from this day forth all generations shall call me blessed. He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts– He has shown strength with his arm, he has cast down the mighty from their seat, and has exalted the humble and weak, he has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent empty away.

This is not meek language, this isn’t a submissive speech. This Mary isn’t sitting quietly in a corner, waiting for God to tell her what’s going to happen next– she’s boldly proclaiming her experience of a world flipped upside down, and her central role in it.
Right here, this is where this version of Mary takes form. Not so much the cardboard figure of purity, but the complex icon of what it means to be a human, interacting with God.

Mary is us, complexity and all. Being confused by God, being delighted by God, being frustrated by God, wishing God would stop already with the annoying little parables and just say something straight out like a normal person…Mary is the human caught up in the dance of divinity, with all the emotions, joys, and struggles that come along with it.

And as we watch Mary’s journey through the gospel, God is ok with full range emotions, Jesus is ok with normal humans. God chose the lowly, the normal, the talkative teenage girls– not the precious moments figurines. (why make her into what she isn’t, what we can’t be?). God used her as she was. God needs us as we are. Not as what someone else tells us we should be. But just as we are, in all our human complexity.

And the intriguing thing about Mary is that despite our constant tendency to shrink her down to size, when she appears in visions, it’s in the terms of those she appears to. To Bernadette at Lourdes, Mary appeared as a French teenager. To Juan Diego at Guadalupe, she appeared as an Aztec princess.

Because really? The example of Mary remains true– God doesn’t need Precious Moments figurines, or marionettes. God needs us. The angel informs Mary “With God, all things are possible”. In other words, you’re in this too, kid. Just as you are.

So hail Mary, full of grace and spunk. And teach us to sing along with you, as best we can. Amen.

This sermon was partly inspired by a series of icons by Br. Robert Lentz OFM, like this one. In Latin American liberation theology, oddly, Mary is often overlooked, despite the widespread devotion to her there. If I ever write a PhD dissertation, it will be on this. Anyway! This icon! Mary as the Mother of the Disappeared–Those taken by the death squads in the 1970s..

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My God can evidently beat up your God

This past week, the governor of Texas released a television ad which revealed some startling and disturbing news:  children can no longer celebrate Christmas openly.

I’m glad he informed me of this, as I was all set to proceed as normal with Advent 3 and Advent 4, before celebrating my merry little way into Christmas Eve and Christmas 1.  (Possibly I might go nuts and break loose with the Feast of the Holy Name.  Who knows?  I’m unpredictable!)  But thank God for you, Rick Perry!  Who knows what horrors might have befallen me had I proceeded?  Fire from the sky, locusts, plagues, mass chaos, cats befriending dogs, etc, etc.  (Also, suddenly my schedule just opened way up.  Drinks, anyone?)
Is it possible Rick Perry is the Grinch and I have failed to notice up til now?
(A more pressing question: please God, does this make Rick Santorum Max the dog?  Because that would explain so. very. much.)
It’s possible that this has escaped Rick Perry’s notice til now, but there do exist people who choose to either not celebrate Christmas, or to celebrate it differently than he does.  (The same goes for Easter, actually.  Also, Maundy Thursday.  Seriously, Newt Gingrich, anytime you want to spearhead a Catholic-politician movement to widen the federal recognition of such an important religious holiday as Maundy Thursday, bring it on.)
So people celebrate it differently.  Or don’t celebrate it.  And in the mind of Rick Perry, Bill O’Reilly, etc, this creates a war on Christmas.  This is puzzling.  Do holiday trees invalidate the birth of Christ?  Does saying ‘Season’s Greetings!” one too many times cancel out the Incarnation?
What sort of flimsy, wishy-washy Christmas is that?
Once God breaks into creation, God doesn’t drift back out again, like Casper the Highly-Suggestible-and-Holy Ghost.  You can’t take the Christ out of Christmas.
Christ is in this thing permanently.
Which, if you ask me, is sort of the whole point.

Oreos are vegan. I cannot speak to Cheez-Whiz.

When I was a child, to make sure that my brother and I were paying attention in church, my parents would quiz us about what the sermon was about.

(Much learning came about in church, as it happens.  How to read music from the hymnal.  How to read, period, from the prayer book.  How to drive, from my mother, in an effort to panic my father enough to make him stop talking and hurry up and get in the car, already.)

The quizzing, though, had varying results.  I really can’t tell you what any of those sermons were about, but gosh darn it, at one point there was a story about baby turtles having a high infant mortality rate, and in another sermon, Jesus Christ Superstar was misquoted.

I’m sure the actual point of these sermons was very edifying.  I did grow up in the sure and certain knowledge of a loving God who wasn’t inclined to damn me to the fiery pits of hell, and that had to come from somewhere.

But there are times when the illustration sort of trumps the actual God part.  Or the story just takes on a life of its own.

I’m working through a back-log here, but this is the sermon I preached when I went back to the church where I interned during my discernment process in college.  They were kind enough to invite me when they heard I would be back in town, nice and generous people that they are.

Long story short, after each service, I found myself shaking a lot of hands and trying to talk many well-heeled Virginia Episcopalians out of trying the Oreo-CheezWhiz combo.  Possibly this will be the next culinary fad to hit the East Coast.

Anyway.  Here it is.

 

November 20, 2011

Last Sunday after Pentecost, Christ the King

Matthew 25: 31-49

 

First things first– thanks for having me back!  It’s wonderful to see you all again, and always good to come home for a bit.  So thank you for this opportunity.

 

One of the more pleasant jobs I’ve been tasked with as a roving young priest in Arizona, has been the chaplain for summer camp.  For the past two summers, I have gotten to be the chaplain for both the week of counselor training, and for a week of children’s camp.

 

And it’s gone pretty well.  The discussions about the parables were fruitful, the kids seemed intrigued and on board, the staff seemed happy, the counselors seemed content and remarkably engaged.

 

Except for one.

 

There was one counselor that I just couldn’t get a read on– Skylar.  He just wouldn’t talk. No matter the topic, no matter what, he would sort of sit and gaze at whatever was happening– counselor meeting checkin, bible study, whatever.  He wouldn’t do this with his cabin– with the little kids he was fantastic, and they’d follow him around like tiny little ducks.  But with me, and the other counselors, he was incommunicado.

He’d just come into the daily checkin meeting, sit down and very deliberately apply a large portion of Cheez-Whiz  to an Oreo, and consume it,  then repeat,

 

Daily I watched this.  For about a week and half of my time there.  I couldnt figure it out.  I tried to explain it to myself– Had his taste buds met with a horrible accident?  What was the draw of this taste combination?

But every day, there it was.

Skylar would come in, silently.  Oreo, Cheez-Whiz.  Take a bite.  Oreo, Cheez-whiz, take a bite. Every meeting I had with the staff.  Every day.

 

Finally, I couldn’t take it any more.  Out of sheer curiosity, the day before camp ended, i finally asked him.  ” does that taste good?”

Skylar was perplexed that I was speaking to him.  “Yes.  It is the best thing ever.”.

“fine.”. I said.  “Can I try one?”.

Skylar got this look on his face like I had suggested that he could get a pony for his birthday.   He wordlessly handed me an Oreo laden with a goodly supply of fake cheese food product, and I took a bite.

 

Well, if you’re wondering if you’ve been missing out on a hidden culinary experience, let me set your mind at ease.  It was horrific.  I mean, it was just plain awful.  I will die happy if I never taste that vileness again.

 

But also?  The next summer, Skylar was one of the most talkative counselors we had.  Outgoing, opinionated, suddenly he was one of the counselor leaders.  He made a point of telling everyone he could that there was this one time that I had eaten a CheezWhiz Oreo, and therefore was one of the cooler chaplains.  He also spent about a week trying to come up with a new horrible taste combo for me to try.  No dice.

 

It’s Christ the King Sunday, Reign of Christ Sunday.  So today has been set aside by those who know about such things in the church to remember that Christ is, among other things, in charge.  In charge of us, yes, but also in charge on a more grand, big, cosmic scale.  Today we remember that Christ is also in charge of the universe.

 

Which is an exciting thought, in some ways.  Christ as ruler!  Up on the throne, nations gathered before him, judging and ruling and deciding things….we have a lot of images in our world associated with kings and this sort of ruling power.  All this stuff is familiar trappings of power to us

 

But then, the lectionary sort of throws a twist into the works.  Because on this Christ the King Sunday, we have this end time vision of Matthew where the Son of Man comes in all this glory, and gathers the nations before him, and sits on his throne, and judges them,…so far so good.

 

Then wham!

 

He says When I was hungry, you gave me food, when I was thirsty, you gave me drink.  When I was naked, you gave me clothes, when I was in prison, you visited me.

 

And you know, were Jesus running for president that at this point his advisors would be hearing this and popping the antacids.

Because this is not the way that traditional leaders speak.  You don’t admit weakness!  You don’t admit vulnerability! You don’t show the kink in the armor!   What sort of talk is this for the King of all the earth?  Everyone is understandably baffled. And when exactly did this happen, again?

 

Jesus says: when you did it for the least of these, you did it for me.

 

Other words, the king on the throne, with all the power in the universe— is with the vulnerable, the weak, and the outcast.  Is, in some real way, the hungry, the poor, the vulnerable.

 

An astonishing, unsettling, thing to assert!  But that is precisely what separates this Christ from all the other rulers on the earth. Jesus has authority over our world and our struggles precisely because he went through them.  He was down here too.  He’s not away and aloof, making scary pronouncements from on high to make our lives harder.  Jesus came to earth to be one of us, and to live with us, right in the places where our lives are already hard.

So that means for us, who follow along in the footsteps of Christ, our job is to do likewise.  We need to be showing a Jesus who advocates for the vulnerable and the downtrodden.  When we go into the world as Christ’s hands and feet, that’s the sort of work we need to be doing, the sort of God we need to be incarnating.

 

It’s not always comfortable.  There are some attractive things about being a normal, earthly-type king.  You get a throne, you get a scepter, there’s lots of money involved, and generally people don’t crucify you.

 

But that is not our calling.  The world has enough distant kings already.  What it needs is Christ.  It needs Christ, seen in the vulnerability of each of us.  Affirmed in our willingness to go into the world and say, “You are loved, more than you know, just as you are, and if you need proof to believe that, here we are.”

 

Amen.